I have a post that I really want to share with people who are married or in a serious relationship. I would like to tell my wife’s fitness journey, as told from my perspective (with her permission of course) ;-). I am often asked by clients, competitors and people who like to workout in general “How do I get my spouse on board with my fitness plan?” Or, another comment I get a lot is “I just wish my ________(husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend) would be as committed as I am about fitness. You are so lucky to have a spouse that likes fitness.” The truth is, my wife and I have not always been on the same page about fitness. image

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Today, my wife Lauren is an incredible example of consistency with her health and fitness goals. She gets up way before anyone else in our home and does her own training and teaches group fitness too. This has not always been the case though. For a long time, I felt like I was the only one in our family that really cared about being “in shape”. My passion for fitness and bodybuilding started at a young age (about 16 years old). For Lauren, she wasn’t always in great shape and didn’t always care as much as I did about working out.

Lauren and I have been married almost 15 years. During the first 5 years of our marriage, I felt like I was solidly committed to fitness while she really wasn’t. I did my first bodybuilding show in our first couple years of marriage and Lauren wasn’t really interested in doing that at all. I remember times when we would argue about how being in shape and exercising is really important, but I felt like she really didn’t want to listen. In fact, looking back on those times, I recognize that it was more of an attack from me than anything else.

Eventually, I realized that in order for Lauren to really appreciate what I appreciated about fitness, she would have to discover this on her own and without my coercing. I knew, that she knew it was important. However, I also knew that if it was me, I would likely not want to join a health club or start a fitness plan because I had an intervention with my spouse! So, I decided to let go and let God take care of it. I began to focus on my own fitness goals and did not try to persuade her into doing anything. I did more competitions and followed my passion.

A few years back, my wife’s coworker decided to join our weight loss challenge in Dover. Rather than let her coworker join this program by herself, Lauren decided to join in too. She became quite committed to the program and tried to not let her coworker beat her on how much progress she could make. After that 10 week program, she continued to participate in our group classes. She began to see how fitness can be fun and created her own reasons for showing up. Eventually, after many months of participating in our group weight loss classes, Lauren decided to join in our strength training classes which she thoroughly enjoyed. This led her to compete in powerlifting and eventually do her first bodybuilding show with me.

For Lauren, her fitness journey has been about discovering what excites her. She did not do this because of me. This point is very important to recognize. If you are in a relationship with someone who does not currently appreciate being as fit and healthy as you do, my recommendation is to give them some space. Let them discover for themselves why they should choose fitness. By doing so, you not only save yourself a lot of heartache and frustration, but you will create a relationship that honors each other with respect for your own choices and reasons. #respect #fitfamily #inlove #fitcouple